Dead Is Dead

There are three things that can make a Lost episode awesome. The Smoke Monster, Benjamin Linus, or John Locke. Now if you take all three of those elements and put them together you end up with an episode so incredible that it makes the A-Team look like amature hour.

I wrote up my initial thoughts here after the episode aired so there's not too much for me to say. But as always I'm gonna test your patience and say some words anyway.

"What lies in the shadow of the statue?" It's been a long time since we've had a question that's caused this much debate and created as many new theories. You would have to travel all the way back to Season 2 when Desmond asked Locke, "what did one snowman say to another?" {fyi: the answer is, "smells like carrots"} to find it's rival. Everywhere I went during the past week I heard people discussing this new riddle and there are now millions (rough estimate) of new websites dedicted to unlocking the answer. But you didn't go to any of those websites. No, you came here for your answers and now I will deliver the goods.

Now my initial thought is that Ilana and her crew are Others. But not the good Others like Tom and Ben. No, these are evil Others who are working for Widemore and they are here to start the war that Widemore mentioned to Locke.

I think it's safe to assume that Widemore has moved onto plan "B" in his plot to retake Craphole Island. His first plan failed miserably and then to top it all off Ben moved the Island. So his next plan? Convince the Oceanic 6 to return to the Island and plant some rougue Other's on the plane. Once again Locke was used like a puppet except this time it was Widemore pulling the strings.
On paper this looks like a great plan and Widemore must have felt confident that it would work. But he should have learned by now that starting a war against Ben will usually result in failure because he's always five steps ahead of everybody else.

Last time Ben used both the Smoke Monster and the Orchid Station to defeat Widemore's batch of goons. This time? He returned to the Island with the corpse of Mr. John f'n Locke because he believed that the Island would bring Locke back to life. And of course that's exactly what happened and now Locke seems to be completely tuned into the Island in ways that Ben could never dream of. And Widemore? All he brought was a big metal crate and a book of riddles. Good luck with that.

So it would seem that the pieces are now in place for a War that will probably start near the end of this season and continue into next season. If this is indeed the case I will post my thoughts regarding what will happen afterwards. But for now those theories are staying with me. So in the meantime you'll just have to settle on what you've got. Now click on the orange link and enjoy the magic of reading:

Click here if your've ever been inside a Turkish prison...

Widemore:

• Nice freaking hair Lion-O: -5
• Evidently he's batshit crazy if he actually believes the Island wanted him to kill a newborn baby: -5
• How did somebody this stupid actually run The Others? He actually thinks that the Island banished him because he was taking too many off-Island vacations?? Freaking Ben was living above the Smoke Monster and he had a closet full of passports and suitcases. I'm betting that Ben simply typed up a letter saying, "sorry Charles but you'r shift is over. Pleaze leave on the sub immediately. Signed, The Island": -5

Net gain loss: -15
Total points: 132

Ben:

• Apologizes to Locke by killing Caesar: +1
• Who in the hell thought it would be a good idea to make Ethan his apprentice? No wonder that dude was so freaking creepy and evil: +1
• Pop Quiz!! What do you think is the hardest part of being a parent in Otherville?
  1. Preventing the Others from "accidently" stealing your baby.
  2. Keeping Richard away from it's innocence.
  3. Trying to prevent the Smoke Monster from eating your baby.
  4. Constantly reminding your child that the Frozen Donkey Wheel is not a toy and time travel is strictly off-limits

Net gain loss: +2
Total points: 106

Locke:

• Seemed to forgive Ben pretty easily. I'd be pretty pissed at the dude who murdered me but by this point Locke is used to people trying to kill him: +1
• Still wearing Christian's shoes. Hopefully he doesn't ask for them back: +1
• The Island is now sending ghosts on his behalf to instruct Ben to do whatever he says. That's pretty damn impressive. He's like the godfather except he's not useless.
• Who wants another pop quiz? Well too bad 'cause you're getting one anyways.  What's the best perk of having Ben as your Island Bitch:
  1. Free piggy back rides
  2. He's like a human Terminator. Just point at somebody and he'll gladly shoot them. No questions asked
  3. Nightly backrubs
  4. Need a new identity? No prob; Ben can whip you up a fake passport likity split.

Net gain loss: +2
Total points: 182

Richard:

• Sad news; this week he wasn't given the opportunity to steal a young boy's essense: +1

Net gain loss: +1
Total points: 147

Caeser:

• Wow; this guy didn't have any survival skills at all. Telling either Locke or Ben that they can't do something is pretty dangerous. But telling both of them, at the same time, that they can't take a boat; well you just have to expect to be shot by at least one of them. Idiot: -101
• But at least Locke didn't stab you after you were shot: +1

Net gain loss: -100
Total points: 0

Ethan:

• Seemed just a little too eager to kill Danielle. But I guess that's what happens when you spend your childhood with Ben as your mentor: -1

Net gain loss: -1
Total points: