The Curious Case Of Jeremy Bentham

Another Wednesday and another A+ episode. In this episode we learned of the events that transpired after he turned the donkey wheel. He had a mission to convince the Oceanic 6 to return to the Island. And of course this mission went as well as anything else has ever gone in his life. In short, everybody pretty much tells Locke to go suck wind. Sayid won't return because he's too busy building homes with Jimmy Carter. He then visits Taller Ghost Walt but decides that his freaky powers are better left in New York. Hurley thinks Locke's a ghost which he's cool with but once he realizes Locke is alive he freaks out. Even the promise of finishing Hurley's golf course isn't enough to lure him back. His next stop is Kate's home but unlike Sawyer she is still insanely selfish and won't return with him. His last visit is with Jack who actually believes Locke and immediately agrees to return to Craphole Island. Just kidding; he actually takes Kate's insulting techniques and turns them up to 11. Not exactly a successful recruitment trip. Having believed that he's failed miserably, Locke decides to hang himself. This is a task that he's almost able to complete except that at the last moment he's interrupted by Ben. He talks Locke off of the ledge and really seems concerned for his well-being and it would appear that he wants to assist in the recruitment of the Oceanic 6. But then suddenly he he strangles Locke to death after he mentions that he needs to find Mrs Hawking. Hmm, maybe there was some truth to Widemore's story after all. Anyway, enough about that; let us jump right into things.
Locke:

John Locke = Obi-Wan Kenobi: +3

"I remember dying". He always gets the coolest lines: +1

Finally gets that shin bone put back inside his leg where it belongs:+1

Gets turned down by all of the 06 that he visited:-1

Forgot to thank Walt for visiting him in the pit after Ben shot him:-1

Peg Bundy died while Locke was on the Island. Sniffle: -1

Highlight of his trip? Causing a three car cash. That's our crazy Locke. I bet he regets that none of those cars exploded: +1

Dies at the hands of Benjamin Linus: -158

But than just a few days later he's up and on his feet:+100

Did I mention that he was dead and the Island resurrected him: +80 Net Gain/Loss: +25 Total Points: 180

Charles Widemore:

So, Widemore was once the leader of the Others? Was he like the only one who applied for the job or something?: -1

Pretty much the only person who's helping Locke. Kate would have just broken his other leg and left him in the desert: +2

Tries to gain Locke's trust by pointing that unlike Ben, Widemore hasn't tried to kill him. And he tells Locke that he's special: +2 Net Gain/Loss: +3 Total Points: 147

Ben

Is clearly stalking Locke: -5

Killed Abaddon: -5

Shoot Locke once, shame on you. Strangle Locke to death, shame on me: -20 Net Gain/Loss: -30 Total Points: 104

Sayid:

Sayid is building houses for charity: +5

But once the house is built he'll probably shoot the owners: -2

Refuses Locke's request to return to the Island: -5

But he seems to be very untrusting due to his dealings with Ben so I could see why he'd say no: +1

However, just like the rest of the 06 he can't resist insulting Locke by saying that Locke only wants to return because he has no where else to go. Jerk: -2 Net Gain/Loss: -3 Total Points: 113

Hurley:

Dude. It's very rude to always assume that your visitors are ghosts. Not cool: -5

Locke needs a favor and what does Hurley do? He throws a hissy fit and runs away: -10

Continues to do his best to win the award of "Dumbest Lost Character": -5 Net Gain/Loss: -20 Total Points:47

Kate:

Manages to completely cut Locke down by telling him that he sucks at life because he never loved anybody:-10

Did I mention that she has nothing to base this on and she has no idea what Locke has been through: -10

So...Sawyer loves her enough to jump out of the helicopter risking death to ensure that the helicopter won't crash. But she's too selfish to even consider returning to the Island to save him. She really sucks: -25 Net Gain/Loss: -45 Total Points: 47

Jack:

"Have you ever stopped to think that these delusions that you're special aren't real? That maybe there's nothing important about you at all? Maybe you are just a lonely old man that crashed on an Island." That was really uncalled for: -20 Net Gain/Loss: -20 Total Points: 99